Single Christian Women: Beware the Trophy Husband


Whether you're a single Christian woman who's 25, 35 or 55, you know the type of man who would impress the pastor, get praise from the church leaders and an "amen" from congregation.  I refer to such a man as a "trophy husband" because he is seen as a prize by the church folks, which is much like the world's definition of a " trophy wife."

If you were to present this man as your future spouse to your church family, you would immediately become their standard for single sisters selecting a mate. You would have brought the the trophy to your local congregation! You would have shut the mouth of the naysayers who said you would never find a good Christian husband at your age.

Unfortunately, your desire to look for or wait to be chosen by a potential Trophy Husband (also known as Mr. Super Christian) is an invitation for the Enemy to deceive you.  2 Corinthians 11:14 warns us that Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.

The Enemy realizes your desire to bring to your congregation the prized mate may blind you from seeing other important things that may derail your marriage; important things like his expectations of you as a wife and mother and his role as a husband and provider. 

Does he expect you to always look stunning like the his favorite female star or like you do now when you go out on dates with him? Does he expect you to (or not to) work outside the home? What is your role in raising your children or helping your adult children? 

Perfect Flawed Church Marriages

Several years ago, a minister's wife told me. "Marriages may be made in heaven but have to be lived on earth!"

I learned what she meant as a single woman and now as a married woman. The truth is your relationship, especially your marriage, will not be lived out in the church building. 

I've seen marriages that appeared nearly perfect during worship services and at church activities crumpled to the congregation's dismay.  Later, I learned the couples' loving actions at church hid a tragic facade.

Seek Godly Counsel from the Creator

While it's wise to seek the advice of seasoned believers as taught throughout the book of Proverbs, it's even more important to find out what the Word says on a matter. Pray about the advice you are given and ask God for wisdom, and discernment. 

No man is meant to fulfill all your needs. Only God can do this!  Never refuse to develop a friendship with a single man because you are more influenced  by what the Christian folks would say rather than what the Word says.


Be encouraged my sister! You are the apple of His (God's) eye (Zechariah 2:8). What are your thoughts on this post? Do you think the church puts too much pressure on singles to find the "perfect" mate?