Are You Giving Husband Benefits to a Boyfriend?


Ladies, I know the desire to marry can almost seem unbearable--especially if you've over 35 or over 40. At times, this strong desire can make you go against your God-given judgement. But, it's not too late to return to what you know is truth (1John 1:9).

One of the steps you must take to return so that you can receive God's best is to stop treating your boyfriend like he's your husband. I found this encouraging article by Andrea Alley, How to Not Treat Your Boyfriend Like a Husband. Read it and let me know your thoughts.

Single Christian Woman Without One Prospect: What To Do


“I just wonder what you would say to a woman who is Christian with not a one prospect. Most Christian men I have befriended ended up not committing. It is like they are scared to. Then the ones who aren't Christian want to get to know me. What am I to do? Praying for decades hasn't worked. I haven't been on a date since I got saved. Part of me wonders if it is worth it to wait for a man who loves God. They all seem afraid to be husbands. I give up...” (Marrying Over 40 follower)


Several years ago, I, or at least one of my girlfriends, could have easily written this question and the comments. One girlfriend actually became so frustrated that she refused to attend any more weddings! Here are a few suggestions to help you through your season of singlehood:

1) Pray. Tell God exactly how you feel. 
Don’t worry about surprising Him with your anger or frustration. Psalms 139:2 reads: You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away (The Living Translation).

2) Get some rest. 
I know when I’m tried, I’m more apt to be irritable and view everything through my negative-colored glasses.

3) Share a laugh with a friend or watch your favorite comedy show.
According to Natural News.Com, laughter moves lymph fluid around your body simply by the convulsions you experience during the process of laughing; so it boosts immune system function and helps clear out old, dead waste products from organs and tissues. No wonder Proverbs 17:22 reads:

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength.(The Living Bible)

4) Pray for the husband that God is going to send you. 
I remember the first time I heard this I was surprised. Then it made sense because unless the man God is sending you hasn't been born yet, he is facing challenges just like you.

I think I read this statement over 20 years ago in Your Half Of The Apple: God and the Single Girl by Gini Andrews. What a powerful impact that made on me.

5) Realize that God’s man for you may not be a Christian yet. God is still working on him.
Too many seasoned believers fail to tell single new Christians that it is possible that you can be unequally yoked” with another believer.

Let me explain. A brother may be “Mr. Super Christian” within the church building, but does not act the same way outside of the church building! Read my article about a few of the warning signs.

I do suggest, after much prayer, get to know (not in the biblical sense) a single man with good morals. Introduce him to your beliefs. Do not fall into the trap of soul-winning for you and Jesus. Commit him and your relationship to the Lord.

6) Write a Thankful/Count Your Blessings List. 

A University of Connecticut study found, a grateful heart is a healthier heart. Patients who viewed their first heart attack as a blessing in disguise, for giving them a new appreciation for life were less likely to have a second attack than those who blamed their heart troubles on others.  

Being thankful is not only good for your physical health, it's good for your spiritual health! I won't mention the numerous scriptures such as Psalm 107:1 which states, "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Make a list of 100 things you are grateful for and read the list when you start to feel sorry for yourself.

As the old gospel song says, "Count your Blessings. Name them one by one. Then it will surprise you what the Lord has done!"

I'm also offering Hope Calls Faith Walks For Single Christian Women.  Whether you use this coaching service or not, I would love to hear from you! Be encouraged!