I was 27 years old and my clock was ticking loudly to meet Mr. Super Christian. My goal of getting married and having a baby by age 30 was near. Christian sisters, family, friends and enemies were reaching their goal of marriage by age 30. What was I doing wrong? I was more faithful--- in my eyes than they were. Finally, I learned “the secret” by observing how one sister operated. She always seemed to have dates.
She said her first marriage didn’t work because her mate was too immature. Within a few months after her divorce, she was back on the dating scene, dating heavily. The secret I learned from observing her was she practiced what I call “Soul-Winning Him For Her Then Jesus.”
I need not explain how this works. It's self explanatory, but just to make sure you understand, I will describe the process.
Step 1: You meet a single man who is appealing to you.
Step 2: You discover by talking with him that he's not a Christian. He may even harbor bitter feelings toward Christianity.
Step 3: You agree to go out on a date with your handsome suitor, maybe, even a few dates.
Step 4: He's passes your test of what you look for in a mate so it's time to win him "for" the Lord.
Step 5: You invite him to church, bible study and to all your "Christian" activities.
Step 6: If he doesn't become a Christian during your specific time frame, you throw him back to the world and start the process again.
What is even dangerous spiritually is that you go to Step 7 after Step 5.
Step 7 is you continue dating him, compromising your beliefs and values, in hopes that he'll marry you---someday.
Nothing is wrong with the goal of soul-winning because we are told to do this in the scriptures (Matthew 28:19-20) nor is anything wrong with inviting a date to hear God's Word. What is wrong with the above process is if you examine your heart, you are really on a mission to win a man to the Lord for you and then for Jesus. You want him to become a Christian so that he can become a suitable mate for you. Jesus wants him to become a Christian to save his soul and to enjoy a rich, abundant life.
I’ve been where you are now: over 35 nearing 40, desiring a mate, a man in the Lord. And, in most churches single women outnumber single men. Too often I thought my chances of getting married to God’s man was as impossible as a donkey holding a conversation (Numbers 22:28)!
If you're practicing "Soul-Winning Him For You Then Jesus" I encourage you to stop. This practice is mainly rooted in faith and doubt. Ask God to help you see the date who comes to church with you as He sees him---a man in need of the Lord.
Pray to God to give you the trust you need to release your date to Him. I can’t promise that God will give you this man as a mate. I can promise that if you are faithful to the Lord, He will not withhold any good thing from you (Psalm 84:11).