Soul-Winning Him For You or For Jesus?


I was 27 years old and my clock was ticking loudly to meet Mr. Super Christian. My goal of getting married and having a baby by age 30 was near. Christian sisters, family, friends and enemies were reaching their goal of marriage by age 30. What was I doing wrong? I was more faithful--- in my eyes than they were. Finally, I learned “the secret” by observing how one sister operated. She always seemed to have dates.

She said her first marriage didn’t work because her mate was too immature. Within a few months after her divorce, she was back on the dating scene, dating heavily. The secret I learned from observing her was she practiced what I call “Soul-Winning Him For  Her Then Jesus.”

I need not explain how this works. It's self explanatory, but just to make sure you understand, I will describe the process.

Step 1:  You meet a single man who is appealing to you.
Step 2:  You discover by talking with him that he's not a Christian. He may even harbor bitter feelings toward Christianity.
Step 3:  You agree to go out on a date with your handsome suitor, maybe, even a few dates.
Step 4:  He's passes your test of what you look for in a mate so it's time to win him "for" the Lord.
Step 5:  You invite him to church, bible study and to all your "Christian" activities.
Step 6: If he doesn't become a Christian during your specific time frame, you throw him back to the world and start the process again.

What is even dangerous spiritually is that you go to Step 7 after Step 5.

Step 7 is you continue dating him, compromising your beliefs and values, in hopes that he'll marry you---someday.

Nothing is wrong with the goal of soul-winning because we are told to do this in the scriptures (Matthew 28:19-20) nor is anything wrong with inviting a date to hear God's Word. What is wrong with the above process is if you examine your heart, you are really on a mission to win a man to the Lord for you and then for Jesus. You want him to become a Christian so that he can become a suitable mate for you. Jesus wants him to become a Christian to save his soul and to enjoy a rich, abundant life.

I’ve been where you are now: over 35 nearing 40, desiring a mate, a man in the Lord. And, in most churches single women outnumber single men. Too often I thought my chances of getting married to God’s man was as impossible as a donkey holding a conversation (Numbers 22:28)!

If you're practicing "Soul-Winning Him For You Then Jesus" I encourage you to stop. This practice is mainly rooted in faith and doubt. Ask God to help you see the date who comes to church with you as He sees him---a man in need of the Lord.

Pray to God to give you the trust you need to release your date to Him. I can’t promise that God will give you this man as a mate. I can promise that if you are faithful to the Lord, He will not withhold any good thing from you (Psalm 84:11).











Interracial Dating, But God He’s---!

Yesterday, I went into a wonderful clothing store. I could hardly believe the style of clothes suited me perfectly. Since I dislike shopping, I usually go to the same two or three stores and look no further. However, yesterday, I ventured into a new store, which is in the same mall and only two stores down from one of “my” stores. This new store, which I have ignored for over 8 years, is now “my” list of stores, knocking one of the others off my list.

As I walked away from the store with my purchase, I smiled knowing that God had used my experience to teach me a valuable lesson: a lesson about unfair conclusions, misconceptions, and inaccurate judgment.

Recognizing God’s mate for us is often difficult because of our own misconceptions. We often think we know how our man will look, talk and smile. (I know I did, too.) We give little thought to the racial appearance of our future mate because we assume he will look like us. However, a quick study of the scriptures will show examples after examples that God’s thoughts are not our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8).

I’m not pretending that I don’t know interracial dating/marriage is still a hot emotionally charged topic. I’m not even pretending that I don’t know the damage the Enemy has and is still doing in this area. I do know that God recognizes two types of people: believers and unbelievers. I do know that God commands us to not to think like the world and to be transformed by the renewing of our minds (Romans 12:2)

I encourage my single Christian sisters who are over 35 and over 40 to open your hearts to the beautiful rainbow (men) of colors that our Father has put in the world. I encourage you to examine the color of their hearts more than you examine the color of their skin.

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