No Sex Before Marriage Not Only For Younger Single Christians

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We pretend it’s only them who have problems with premarital sex. We pretend it’s only them who can’t control their physical passions. We pretend it’s only them who sit in church on Sunday morning feeling guilty for the sexual sin they committed on Saturday night.

Reader Mich Abin M. shares her personal testimony in this area. She writes:  

I was engaged before to a Christian when I was 36, but he featured some of the traits you mentioned in 5 Red Flag Dating Signs For Christian Women 35+, so we parted. My husband now didn't have everything I wanted on my list, but he had the important ones of loving God, being honest, supportive, responsible, trustworthy and funny and much more besides. 

We met when I was 39 and we courted for a full 2 years! One thing that worked for us is that we sexually abstained and didn't live together until after marriage (even though my furniture had already moved into his place (because I moved city to join him), so it was home from home when I did finally move in).

The reason I mention that is because too many of us Christians, especially women, focus on a brother's weaknesses but don't think twice about giving it up sexually and the spiritual repercussions. I'd advise older dating couples to slow it down just as I would with a couple dating in their 20s. Why? Because at our age we're more likely to have children, be set in our ways, but to proudly think "we know better." But we need time to acknowledge our situation and unlearn / learn things conducive to a healthy new relationship. 

I've seen too many friends of my age messed up because as soon as they fulfilled their sexual desires the relationship fell flat. When people learned we were abstaining we had reactions from respect and amazement, to anger. The angry person (non Christian) was a co-worker who thought us old fashioned not to try sex before getting married.

Well that angry co-worker's own relationship broke down, and some months later they not only said they would consider abstaining next time, but they also brought other non Christian co-workers to me to hear about God's way for relationships!

Mich, thanks for sharing your personal testimony. I couldn’t have said/written it better!

2 comments:

  1. An excellent testimony. I would like to say I was as good as that, but I wasn't. However, we have now been married again for over nine year and going strong in our love or one another. I loved that my granddaughter at age 21 abstained until marriage. Three years later they are so happy, both studying teaching at University and going strong in the Lord with support for Destiny Rescue in Thailand. They intent to be missionaries when they graduate.

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  2. My spiritual sister, I appreciate you for your support and honesty. As the younger generation say, "you keep it real." Blessings to you and your granddaughter in your marriages!

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