Older Women Marry Out of Sheer Luck or Manipulation???

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A few years ago, I commented in a leading Christian magazine about marrying later. Another reader responded:

“It's not impossible, but if one is being honest, one has to admit that it is rare. Statistically, the older a woman is the more the odds are against her...particularly if she wants a Christian mate. Most churches have a surplus of single women of a certain age, but relatively fewer available men, and the ones who are all too often act like the proverbial rooster in the hen house. I've seen it, and it's not pretty. Women who marry older often times it's just out of sheer luck...or manipulation. That's the truth.”

I agree with the reader on several points BUT. First, let's see what I agree with her on :

Most churches have more women than men.
In David Murrow’s book Why Men Hate Going to Church, he writes, “I truly believe women must play a key role if men are to return (to the church). Because women dominate in attendance, leadership, and volunteerism, they hold great sway in the local church (even if they don’t realize it). Women must humble themselves, pray, and allow the men of the church to lead the body toward an adventure.” For more interesting points on men and church, check out this link: http://churchformen.com

The proverbial rooster in the hen (church) house does exist.
I agree with the reader that because of the surplus of single women of a certain age and fewer available men, many brothers act like the proverbial rooster in the hen house. Unfortunately, we, the church, have accepted this behavior, which is both sickening and sinful.

Main point of disagreement:

Older women who marry, marry out of sheer luck or manipulation.
 Unfortunately, this statement assumes that the only thing women have to offer is their youth and that luck does exist.  Both of which we know is in error.

While statistics may be against us, I know other women who married at a later age and they did not manipulate their potential mates. I know it’s difficult, but I encourage my single sisters to keep believing. If God can part the Red Sea for Moses, He can send you a mate…if it’s His will!


  1. Well said Cyn, I have some friends at their later age that are still believing God for a Christian brother and I know that they will obtain favor from God without manipulating no man.

  2. Nekky, I know the Lord is using you to encourage your friends as He has used you to encourage me.

  3. Hi Mate, well you know my story. I was 59yrs when I met Ray on-line.. And we are both Christians. He HINTED at me many times, about marriage. I ignored him because I just wasn't sure.
    Then one day he told me, it was inevitable that we marry. So this time I told him he would have to ask me properly, not just hint or take it for granted.I am a lady and I expected to be treated as one. I am 4 yrs older than Ray. He had many women after him, and I believe thats where women can go wrong. Let the man chase, its their job to go after the prize. They appreciate it more when they do.
    In my church in Australia I am happy to say there are about the same number of men as women. Much love to you Cynthia. xx

  4. Crystal Mary, your comments have so much wisdom I don't know where to begin, so I will just say, "Amen Sister!"

  5. When you're older, marriage takes on a deeper meaning. You know what you're getting into.

  6. Peaches,I agree. When you marry older, you have seen some of the martial mistakes and victories friends, family and others have made.

  7. Peaches you said it all. Thanks for sharing Cynthia..

  8. interesting! i have a relative who married at 40 and had 2 kids by 42. they are one of the happiest families I know....
    I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.

  9. Thanks for your always encouraging comments. I'm following you back!

  10. I agree with you, Cynthia. This is all true even in my small country - New Zealand, on the other side of the globe.
    It sounds perhaps passive, but really when one can't do anything except pray, then praying is the way to go.
    For myself, and most of the women I know, we'd rather be single than manipulate some man who we were never really meant to be with. Certainly being on your own is better than being with the wrong person (because, even if our chances are getting slimmer by the year, they're greater than they would be if we were tied to Mr. Wrong)

  11. Wendie, thanks for your comments. I think regardless of where you are located in the world, there is a woman who wished she could or had the opportunity again to be single rather than connected to her current Mr. Wrong. Blessings to you and continue to operate in God’s season of life for you!

  12. Thank you for your encouragement Wendie. I'm 40 years old and I'm still waiting for my deep heart's desire to be fulfilled. I hope the Lord will intervene in my life very soon!

  13. Daniela, thanks for commenting. I’m so thankful that God hasn’t forgotten about you or Wendie's heart’s desires. Blessings!