Praying for a Christian Husband?

It's been nearly 2 years since I last blogged on this site. Although my other website InSeason Mom has had most of my attention, like your first crush, Marrying Over 40 has never left my mind.

When I was in college, a Christian friend asked if I thought it was right to pray for a particular Christian man to become her husband. Immediately, I said yes. After all, she knew the man. She knew his good points and bad points. She knew what would make her happy. Why not tell God that you wanted this man to be your husband. The years have given me wisdom and I would answer her differently today.

When I was in my 20s and 30s, I thought every Christian and non-Christian that I dated more than once was "the one" or could be the one for me. Interestingly, one of "the Christian ones" who I thought was for me wasn't. The "thought one for me" was active in the church, in my circle of friends, and was an attractive yuppie ( a term used in the 1980s to describe a young urban professional or young upwardly mobile professional). I was the one he would always ask to take to his company functions. How could he not be "the one" God had for me?

When he mysteriously quit his job and returned hometown to live with his parents, I was baffled. I tried to contact him. I asked our circle of friends if they knew anything. No one did. A few years later, I received a call from one of his relatives. My friend was in the hospital and wanted to see me. Talking with my dear friend on his dying bed, I learned that he had AIDS/HIV. He was too ashamed to tell me when he found out. He had contacted AIDS through promiscuous sexual behavior. I thought back to conversations when he asked me about God and homosexuality. I had failed to "listen" to his cry for help. I only saw a potential husband for me.

God knew when I was "pray-matchmaking" myself with my friend, I was looking at one speck of the picture. He could see the whole picture. When I was a single, I hated when people would say "wait on the Lord for a husband." How many of them have "waited on the Lord" for a husband? Now I know whether these well-meaning people have waited on the Lord is irrelevant, they are right!


  1. It is important to not move ahead of God when pursuing 'the one' for our lives. I have been married before (at a young age) and am now 'waiting' to be married again (over 40). Things can cause me to want to get impatient sometimes, but I then I just remind myself of what happened the last time I tried to move ahead of God. It failed.

    I hope that you will post more on this blog. There are quite a few of us, over 40, who get hope from reading stories like yours.

    Have a blessed resurrection holiday!

  2. Thanks Nisey for encouraging me to post more on this blog and for following this blog. You're right about not moving ahead of God. I've tried it and it didn't work. Continue to practice your faith walk in waiting on the Lord for your mate. Please tell other single women about this blog. Blessings!

  3. Wow, this is hand picked for me! I too am now over 40 (44)..divorced for 13 years this year, but want to remarry but only to the the man God has for me. I also want to be a bilogival mother with my husband. On paper it looks crazy, but I know what the Lord can do!
    I was actually going to start a blog on this very thing, but you have already done so.

    Ladies, what are you doing in the meantime? Are you both still unmarried or have you married..last entry was in 2011.

    Anyone in the Philly area?

  4. Dee, thanks so much for your comments. Things of God that sound "crazy" on paper are possible with Him. I guess that's why I like Matthew 19:26 :Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Dee, please contact me about contributing to this blog.

  5. I would love to contribute to this blog Cynthia. Thank you for providing such an encouraging forum for woman like myself. I will be in touch.

  6. Dee,thank you so much for letting me know that you were encouraged. This means more than you realize and thanks for your desire to contribute. I received your email. My reply is coming soon!