Holiday Survival Tips For Christian Singles


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 Thanks again to Marie Roker Jones for having me as a guest on Raising Great Men on Friday. I didn’t realize my southern accent was so heavy (smile).The interview was recorded so you can still hear the interview if you follow the link listed in my last post.


Holidays can be a mentally challenging time to be single. While you enjoy being around family and friends, you can soon feel left out of their “couple” conversations. Here’s something for you:

Cynthia’s Holiday Survival Tips

1-Be Prepared For the Battle-Put On Your Armour of Prayer and Faith

Movie theaters and television flood the screen with love stories during the holiday season. It’s a smart business decision for them, a money-making season.

Don’t believe the lie that you are the only person on the planet without a mate or that you can’t make it through another day (or at least this holiday season) being single. The Enemy wants you to doubt God’s infinite love for you. Reading Isaiah 43:1-4 always reminds me that God loves and knows me personally. I’m not just part of the mass population in the world to God. I am His. He knows my name and loves me!

He knows the challenges you have being single. He knows the challenges you have with your career, your children, etc. He knows how much you long to be married. He knows and loves you.

2- Handling the “When Are You Getting Married?” Question

Answer- for Christian friends and family:

(in a polite tone) Well, you know God has a season for everything. And as soon as He lets me know, I’ll let you know (change subject or walk away).

Answer-  for non-Christian friends and family:

(in a polite tone) Marriage is serious business. I would rather not get married than spend the rest of my life miserable because I married the wrong person (change subject or walk away).

3-Use the same respond above to the comments, “you better not wait too long because you’re not get younger.” The truth is God does have a season for everything and many people who continuously ask you about marriage are in miserable marriages.

One television minister said, “Half of the people who aren’t married want to get married. And half the people who are married want to get out of being married!”

If you need an extra boost of words of faith during the holidays, pray first, then email me. Keep Concentrating On Your Blessings!

Marrying Over 40- October 2011 Spotlight- Crystal Mary Lindsey

Crystal Mary is a retired Registered Nurse (BSN) holding a Post Graduate Degree in Mental Health and P.H.T.L.S. in Emergency Medicine. She also has a Diploma in Professional Counseling/Psychology.  Crystal Mary resides in sub-tropical Queensland, Australia, with her beloved American husband Raymond and their little Australian terrier dog Monty. She blogs at http://crystalmarylindsey.blogspot.com

Pictured above-Raymond and Crystal Mary in church
Here is Crystal Mary’s inspiring story of Marrying Over 40 in her words:

Life can be funny. I came out of a violent marriage and never wanted to enter in again. I was working in Emergence medicine and completing another degree.

Life was hectic with not much social life. One of my colleagues, a doctor, was having lunch with me one day and told me I needed a life. Two days later, he said the same thing. This time he told me I was too young to be alone, (what! I was fifty- nine). I looked good for my age as I didn't drink, smoke or eat a lot of takeaway.

I met a man from Tennessee online who looked like a country boy. He was shy and kind and we got on well. I got a cam camera and so did he, so we could see and talk to each other. We did this for four months. I never believed I would meet him.

Anyhow, another friend was trying to persuade me to go to a Christian conference in Chicago. My mother told me I should go, it would be good for me, so I made plans.

I told Ray from Tennessee that I was going to Chicago. I didn't ask to meet him. I believed that was up to him, if he were interested.

To cut a long story short, he had been married twice and had lived alone for 28yrs. He had one married son. He was also a Vietnam vet, ex marine.

I had been alone for about 10yrs. We liked each other and had similar interests and natures. He asked me to marry him very quickly, probably because I would have gone back to Australia and he would never have seen me again.

We have now been married for seven years and are happy together.

Cynthia's note: I want to thank Crystal Mary for sharing her story and for being a fellow believer that ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD! (Matthew 19:26)…even marrying after 35 or 40! If you know a believer who married again or for the first time after 35 or if you fit this category, please email me the details. Thanks and Blessings!

Wedding Anniversary!

Recently, my husband and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary. I got married for the first time at age 40 to Larry, my best male friend of ten plus years. (I did break off two marriage proposals to others before finally getting married. I can certainly relate to the confusion a single woman feels in deciding if “he” is God’s man for her. I’ll give you tips on deciding in another blog.) Anyway, my husband, then best male friend, called me at 3 a.m. in the morning to confess his love for me. I was sleeping. I thought something terrible had happened. Little did I know that this call would change my life forever!


The story of our marriage has all the drama and comedy that makes a great made-for-television movie. We got married on the lovely island of Jamaica.

If I were going to give a Christian single woman advice about getting married, I would say:

1) Marry a man who loves God more than he loves you. He’ll do right by you because he wants to be pleasing to God.

2) Marry someone who appreciates your inner beauty as much as he appreciates your physical beauty. Sickness, accidents or aging will change your “physical” beauty but the mental connection will last a lifetime.

What advice would you share with a Christian single woman (or man) about getting married?

My Grandfather’s 100th Birthday Party and the Experts

Pictured above-Grandfather with great granddaughter at his 100th birthday party!

I attended my grandfather’s 100th birthday party on last week. I felt proud as he received honors for his involvement in the Civil Rights Movement from President Obama and other state, local and church officials. I beamed with pride as he was presented with our state’s flag and I learned that all members of my state’s Congress stood in honor of him during their last meeting.

"I'm not a big fella, but I got a big heart and a big mind,” he said as he accepted one of his awards. His key for long life is “treating people right and trusting God.” The memory that I hold dearest is seeing him dancing at his 100th birthday party!

According to the finding of some experts, a 100th year old man is NOT supposed to be dancing or giving acceptance speeches. No doubt, the forerunners of these same experts told my grandfather that once he became 40 that his best days were behind him. They probably said what he didn’t accomplish in the first half of his life, he wouldn’t accomplish in the last half.

Often experts try to convince single Christian women over 35 and 40 that they have no hope of marrying a godly mate. Single Christian women over 35 and 40 are lead to believe that they have missed their chance for marriage. They are made to feel too old or not attractive. Little do the experts know that our God specializes in the impossibility (Matthew 19: 26).

It’s hard to say how my grandfather responded to the experts who said his best days were behind him once he reached 40. Probably the experts have mistaken his overall easy-nature as weakness. Yet, his response  prove most powerful 60 years later as he accepted awards from dignitaries and danced at his 100th birthday party!

Praying for a Christian Husband?

It's been nearly 2 years since I last blogged on this site. Although my other website InSeason Mom has had most of my attention, like your first crush, Marrying Over 40 has never left my mind.

When I was in college, a Christian friend asked if I thought it was right to pray for a particular Christian man to become her husband. Immediately, I said yes. After all, she knew the man. She knew his good points and bad points. She knew what would make her happy. Why not tell God that you wanted this man to be your husband. The years have given me wisdom and I would answer her differently today.

When I was in my 20s and 30s, I thought every Christian and non-Christian that I dated more than once was "the one" or could be the one for me. Interestingly, one of "the Christian ones" who I thought was for me wasn't. The "thought one for me" was active in the church, in my circle of friends, and was an attractive yuppie ( a term used in the 1980s to describe a young urban professional or young upwardly mobile professional). I was the one he would always ask to take to his company functions. How could he not be "the one" God had for me?

When he mysteriously quit his job and returned hometown to live with his parents, I was baffled. I tried to contact him. I asked our circle of friends if they knew anything. No one did. A few years later, I received a call from one of his relatives. My friend was in the hospital and wanted to see me. Talking with my dear friend on his dying bed, I learned that he had AIDS/HIV. He was too ashamed to tell me when he found out. He had contacted AIDS through promiscuous sexual behavior. I thought back to conversations when he asked me about God and homosexuality. I had failed to "listen" to his cry for help. I only saw a potential husband for me.

God knew when I was "pray-matchmaking" myself with my friend, I was looking at one speck of the picture. He could see the whole picture. When I was a single, I hated when people would say "wait on the Lord for a husband." How many of them have "waited on the Lord" for a husband? Now I know whether these well-meaning people have waited on the Lord is irrelevant, they are right!