Karen Abercrombie, Actress,Singer-Songwriter,Speaker, Advice to Single Christian Women


I had the honor of interviewing Karen Abercrombie, the actress who gave a stellar performance as Miss Clara in the movie War Room. I left the interview uplifted and knowing one thing for sure: Karen Abercrombie is not only a talented actress, singer-songwriter, speaker, producer, but she's a humble and kind-hearted soul.

It’s no surprise that Karen along with some of her close artist friends are using their God given gifts of song, storytelling, poetry, dance and musicianship to encourage women and teen girls through WOMEN SOAR EVENT 2017. The event is designed to inspire women and teen girls with a clearer understanding of who they truly are in Christ.

I asked Karen if she had any advice to share with single Christian women about marriage.

"If you're feeling the pressure to get married, just to get married and you haven't found anyone," she said, "don't just jump into any situation to have a husband and to have a child. You could be jumping into a fire. Trust God because nothing is more wonderful than having a mate that is loving and supportive. This is a healthy relationship to bring a child into."

Read about Karen's journey of conceiving and giving birth after age 35 on my InSeason Mom blog.
Check out the clip below and her moving portrayal of Miss Clara in the movie War Room.


              

Singleness and Harvest-time Season

Who would have thought by growing up on a farm God was showing me a life-long lesson?

I didn’t appreciate the peaceful farm scenery growing up. I wanted to live in town, a fast-paced city. Now I always feel refreshed when I go to our family farm, soaking up the sunshine and looking at the beautiful scenery.

Having been raised on a farm, I’ve seen first-hand that when you plant seeds for a crop not all of them will produce at the same time. Each will operate in its own God-given season.

The exact is true with our lives. You may have wanted to get married during your twenties or early thirties but did not. You are in your season of waiting.

Getting married at 40, conceiving naturally and giving birth at age 42 and 44 was NEVER in my well-designed plan. I was supposed to be married to Mr. Super Christian and have all of my well-behaved children by age 27! However, the detour from my perfect plan has made me more compassionate and humble. The years have taught me from seeing the experiences of others that when our dreams are fulfilled too quickly, we take the fulfillment for granted. We become prideful.
  
Now, years after praying through my season of waiting, I know and embrace the ministry God has chosen for me. I know that providing support through this blog for Christian women 35+ who want to get married and providing support for first time moms and women who want to be moms over 35 and 40 through InSeason Mom is His well-designed path for me.


When I connect with women over 35 and 40 who are in their “season of waiting," I do not view them as statistics. I see them as I see myself and that’s why I often call them “my sisters.” I want them to know that God has not forgotten them. He still has wonderful plans for them (Jeremiah 29:11). I know this because He has used my life as a testimony to the other side of their journey-Harvest time!

HOPE CALLS FAITH WALKS FOR SINGLE CHRISTIAN WOMEN



 “Women in their late 30s and 40s are flooded with negative information about their probability of getting married to having healthy babies,” says Cynthia Wilson James, author of Marry Over 40 By Faith and founder of InSeasonMom, recognized by CBS New York and MSNBC as a leading resource for first time moms over 35.

"This is especially discouraging for Christian women who are professionals,” says Cynthia, who married for the first time at age 40, conceived naturally and gave birth at age 42 and 44 to two healthy daughters.  “Professional women may be on top of their career, but they still want a husband, someone to share their lives.

Unfortunately, most churches or programs do not minister to the needs of older single Christian women. They may address a woman not being married after a certain age in a joking manner in a sermon. But, it’s not a joke to the woman who doesn’t want to be single.”

“Hope Calls Faith Walks for Single Christian Women" provides emotional support and doesn’t take the place of psychotherapy or professional counseling. Cynthia says “It’s not a substitution for professional mental or medical health advice.  It’s more like talking to a good friend who’s been through what you’re going through; someone who can relate and encourage you in your journey with action steps. It's coaching and mentoring!”

HOPE CALLS FAITH WALKS-Live Support includes:

●          30-45 minutes of live emotional support via telephone weekly
●          Email support to stay in touch between sessions
●          Action steps you can use now focusing on your mental, physical and spiritual health discussed and emailed weekly
●          Helpful/Inspiring resources (article links/ book suggestions/ quotes) emailed weekly
●          Time to share what’s on your heart
●          Private Christian faith-based support from Cynthia who married at 40, conceived naturally and gave birth at age 42 and 44 to healthy children

1-Month (4 consecutive weeks)                                 $199                                                 

2-Months (8 consecutive weeks)                               $348 (discounted $50)                        


HOPE CALLS FAITH WALKS 1-Hour- Need to Talk

You’re not hiding something illegal or you don’t need psychotherapy. You’re just private and don’t want the whole world to know your business, especially the people at church or work. You want to talk to someone who will give you an objective opinion, someone like Cynthia who has walked the path of being a Christian single after35.

1-Hour- Need to Talk                                                  $55                              

Are You Giving Husband Benefits to a Boyfriend?


Ladies, I know the desire to marry can almost seem unbearable--especially if you've over 35 or over 40. At times, this strong desire can make you go against your God-given judgement. But, it's not too late to return to what you know is truth (1John 1:9).

One of the steps you must take to return so that you can receive God's best is to stop treating your boyfriend like he's your husband. I found this encouraging article by Andrea Alley, How to Not Treat Your Boyfriend Like a Husband. Read it and let me know your thoughts.

Survive the "Couples" Holiday Season as a Single





Christmas holiday cheers can bring you to holiday tears. But the truth is at any celebration (or non-celebration gathering like funerals), graduation, birthday, etc. when you're with family, friends and church members can bring that "left out of their couple” conversations" feeling. Sometimes, as a Christian single woman, you may feel just plain annoyed with the questions about your marital status.  Here are a few tips to help you:


1-Prepare for the Enemy’s Romantic Love Lie Attack

Certain days such as Valentine’s Day and Christmas day/season, the entertainment industry floods us with romantic love stories. It’s their money-making season!

The heroine walks out of her house or apartment and nearly trips over Mr. Right. He’s bending down to pick up his car keys to his Bugatti. By the end of the movie, she’s happily married to a man she’s known less than an hour- in real time- and all of their drama is solved within the movie’s time span.

Although you enjoyed the movie, you’re now feeling as if you are the only person on the planet without a mate! You don’t see how you can make it through another day (or at least this holiday season) being single.  If God really cared about you, why hasn’t He sent your Mr. Right?

Sister, even though the attack was subtle and disguised as harmless entertainment, you were still hit by one of the Enemy’s flaming darts-the Romantic Love Lie. The Romantic Love Lie wants you to think Infatuation and Lust are the same as Love.

2- Launch Your Faith Missile

You’ve walked by faith before and now it’s time to do it again (2 Corinthians 5:7). Recharge your spiritual engine by fueling up with what you know. You’re not just a nameless face in the mass population to God. You are His. He knew you before you were conceived (Jeremiah 1:5). He knows the challenges you have being single. He knows how you long to be married.  He hasn’t forgotten you or your desires. So stop listening to the sad love songs and replace it with upbeat positive music.


3- Prepare for the “When Are You Getting Married?” Question

Someone is going to ask you this question either this season or within the next 6 months! 

Here are a few suggested answers:

Well, you know God has a season for everything. And as soon as He lets me know, I’ll let you know (change subject or walk away).

I especially like Author Crystal Mary’s WHY suggestions:

Q.        When are you getting married?
A.        Why?
Q.        How come you’re not married?
A.        Why?
Q.        Why haven’t you ever married?
A.        Why should I?

Pray for wisdom in giving an answer that helps you feel comfortable and confident.

4-Embrace the Spirit of Gratitude-Volunteer

Your desire for a mate shouldn’t cause you to forget about your current blessings.  Nothing can help you embrace the spirit of gratitude quicker than volunteering. How about spreading cheer to residents in the nursing home or patients in the hospital?  There are numerous charities that could use your help. This season rather than waiting on God to bless you, use what He has given you to be a blessing!


Single Christian Woman Without One Prospect: What To Do


“I just wonder what you would say to a woman who is Christian with not a one prospect. Most Christian men I have befriended ended up not committing. It is like they are scared to. Then the ones who aren't Christian want to get to know me. What am I to do? Praying for decades hasn't worked. I haven't been on a date since I got saved. Part of me wonders if it is worth it to wait for a man who loves God. They all seem afraid to be husbands. I give up...” (Marrying Over 40 follower)


Several years ago, I, or at least one of my girlfriends, could have easily written this question and the comments. One girlfriend actually became so frustrated that she refused to attend any more weddings! Here are a few suggestions to help you through your season of singlehood:

1) Pray. Tell God exactly how you feel. 
Don’t worry about surprising Him with your anger or frustration. Psalms 139:2 reads: You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away (The Living Translation).

2) Get some rest. 
I know when I’m tried, I’m more apt to be irritable and view everything through my negative-colored glasses.

3) Share a laugh with a friend or watch your favorite comedy show.
According to Natural News.Com, laughter moves lymph fluid around your body simply by the convulsions you experience during the process of laughing; so it boosts immune system function and helps clear out old, dead waste products from organs and tissues. No wonder Proverbs 17:22 reads:

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength.(The Living Bible)

4) Pray for the husband that God is going to send you. 
I remember the first time I heard this I was surprised. Then it made sense because unless the man God is sending you hasn't been born yet, he is facing challenges just like you.

I think I read this statement over 20 years ago in Your Half Of The Apple: God and the Single Girl by Gini Andrews. What a powerful impact that made on me.

5) Realize that God’s man for you may not be a Christian yet. God is still working on him.
Too many seasoned believers fail to tell single new Christians that it is possible that you can be unequally yoked” with another believer.

Let me explain. A brother may be “Mr. Super Christian” within the church building, but does not act the same way outside of the church building! Read my article about a few of the warning signs.

I do suggest, after much prayer, get to know (not in the biblical sense) a single man with good morals. Introduce him to your beliefs. Do not fall into the trap of soul-winning for you and Jesus. Commit him and your relationship to the Lord.

6) Write a Thankful/Count Your Blessings List. 

A University of Connecticut study found, a grateful heart is a healthier heart. Patients who viewed their first heart attack as a blessing in disguise, for giving them a new appreciation for life were less likely to have a second attack than those who blamed their heart troubles on others.  

Being thankful is not only good for your physical health, it's good for your spiritual health! I won't mention the numerous scriptures such as Psalm 107:1 which states, "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever.

Make a list of 100 things you are grateful for and read the list when you start to feel sorry for yourself.

As the old gospel song says, "Count your Blessings. Name them one by one. Then it will surprise you what the Lord has done!"

I'm also offering Hope Calls Faith Walks For Single Christian Women.  Whether you use this coaching service or not, I would love to hear from you! Be encouraged!