Dating Advice For Christian Women Over 35 and 40

You can’t keep entertaining the wrong man expecting to receive the right one-- Stephan Labossiere, Life Coach and Relationship Expert. #GodlyDating #Wisdom


Marry Over 40 By Faith Bible Verse Reference: A good tree is not able to bear bad fruits, nor a bad tree to bear good fruits- Matthew 7:18. 






Prayer Forgotten?


Yet, they say, “My Lord deserted us: he has forgotten us.”
 Never! Can a mother forget her little child and not have love for her own son? Yet, even if that should be, I will not forget you.  
Isaiah 49: 14-15 (The Living Bible)                                                                           
  
I believe one of the reasons the Lord allowed me to be single until I was 40 is to relate to my older single sisters. I remember how it feels to wonder (if only for a spilt second) if the Lord has forgotten your prayer for a mate…a godly mate. I remember how it feels when everyone else seems to have found the “perfect” mate. I remember how it feels to take control of the situation since God hasn’t given you the man you want when you wanted him.  I remember how it feels to idealize marriage. Yes, God has given me a powerful memory. He even allowed me to write my thoughts and my actions in a journal so I wouldn’t forget! Today when I write that God hasn’t forgotten you, I know from personal experience that He hasn’t. Be encouraged!

Tips to Survive the "Couples" Holidays as a Single





Valentine's Day, Christmas, New Year Day holiday cheers can bring you to holiday tears. But the truth is at any celebration (or non-celebration gathering like funerals), graduation, birthday, etc. when you're with family, friends and church members can bring that "left out of their couple” conversations" feeling. Sometimes, as a Christian single woman, you may feel just plain annoyed with the questions about your marital status.  Here are a few tips to help you:


1-Prepare for the Enemy’s Romantic Love Lie Attack

Certain days such as Valentine’s Day and the Christmas season, the entertainment industry floods us with romantic love stories. It’s their money-making season!

The heroine walks out of her house or apartment and nearly trips over Mr. Right. He’s bending down to pick up his car keys to his Bugatti. By the end of the movie, she’s happily married to a man she’s known less than an hour- in real time- and all of their drama is solved within the movie’s time span.

Although you enjoyed the movie, you’re now feeling as if you are the only person on the planet without a mate! You don’t see how you can make it through another day (or at least this holiday season) being single.  If God really cared about you, why hasn’t He sent your Mr. Right?

Sister, even though the attack was subtle and disguised as harmless entertainment, you were still hit by one of the Enemy’s flaming darts-the Romantic Love Lie. The Romantic Love Lie wants you to think Infatuation and Lust are the same as Love.

2- Launch Your Faith Missile

You’ve walked by faith before and now it’s time to do it again (2 Corinthians 5:7). Recharge your spiritual engine by fueling up with what you know. You’re not just a nameless face in the mass population to God. You are His. He knew you before you were conceived (Jeremiah 1:5). He knows the challenges you have being single. He knows how you long to be married.  He hasn’t forgotten you or your desires. So stop listening to the sad love songs and replace it with upbeat positive music.


3- Prepare for the “When Are You Getting Married?” Question

Someone is going to ask you this question either this season or within the next 6 months! 

Here are a few suggested answers:

Well, you know God has a season for everything. And as soon as He lets me know, I’ll let you know (change subject or walk away).

I especially like Author Crystal Mary’s WHY suggestions:

Q.        When are you getting married?
A.        Why?
Q.        How come you’re not married?
A.        Why?
Q.        Why haven’t you ever married?
A.        Why should I?

Pray for wisdom in giving an answer that helps you feel comfortable and confident.

4-Embrace the Spirit of Gratitude-Volunteer

Your desire for a mate shouldn’t cause you to forget about your current blessings.  Nothing can help you embrace the spirit of gratitude quicker than volunteering. How about spreading cheer to residents in the nursing home or patients in the hospital?  There are numerous charities that could use your help. This season rather than waiting on God to bless you, use what He has given you to be a blessing!


Single Christian Women: Beware the Trophy Husband


Whether you're a single Christian woman who's 25, 35 or 55, you know the type of man who would impress the pastor, get praise from the church leaders and an "amen" from congregation.  I refer to such a man as a "trophy husband" because he is seen as a prize by the church folks, which is much like the world's definition of a " trophy wife."

If you were to present this man as your future spouse to your church family, you would immediately become their standard for single sisters selecting a mate. You would have brought the the trophy to your local congregation! You would have shut the mouth of the naysayers who said you would never find a good Christian husband at your age.

Unfortunately, your desire to look for or wait to be chosen by a potential Trophy Husband (also known as Mr. Super Christian) is an invitation for the Enemy to deceive you.  2 Corinthians 11:14 warns us that Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.

The Enemy realizes your desire to bring to your congregation the prized mate may blind you from seeing other important things that may derail your marriage; important things like his expectations of you as a wife and mother and his role as a husband and provider. 

Does he expect you to always look stunning like the his favorite female star or like you do now when you go out on dates with him? Does he expect you to (or not to) work outside the home? What is your role in raising your children or helping your adult children? 

Perfect Flawed Church Marriages

Several years ago, a minister's wife told me. "Marriages may be made in heaven but have to be lived on earth!"

I learned what she meant as a single woman and now as a married woman. The truth is your relationship, especially your marriage, will not be lived out in the church building. 

I've seen marriages that appeared nearly perfect during worship services and at church activities crumpled to the congregation's dismay.  Later, I learned the couples' loving actions at church hid a tragic facade.

Seek Godly Counsel from the Creator

While it's wise to seek the advice of seasoned believers as taught throughout the book of Proverbs, it's even more important to find out what the Word says on a matter. Pray about the advice you are given and ask God for wisdom, and discernment. 

No man is meant to fulfill all your needs. Only God can do this!  Never refuse to develop a friendship with a single man because you are more influenced  by what the Christian folks would say rather than what the Word says.


Be encouraged my sister! You are the apple of His (God's) eye (Zechariah 2:8). What are your thoughts on this post? Do you think the church puts too much pressure on singles to find the "perfect" mate? 



Wise as Serpents Harmless as Doves –Online Dating


Jesus told his 12 disciples, “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves.” Matthew 10:16-American Standard Version

While I believe every Christian should practice being “wise as serpents, and harmless as doves,” I want to apply this specifically to online dating. 

I don’t speak against Christian online dating sites because I never tried it when I was single. I have heard of success stories like Sheryl Taylor, featured on this blog!  Unfortunately, I have heard of tragic and unsuccessful stories, too.

Although not by online dating, I have been scammed, too. I encourage Christian women not to be overly confident that they will never be tricked by a con artist.  Many con artists have been practicing their tricky or deception for years and years.

In doing research on online dating scams, I applaud one “Christian” site, which plainly tells its audience:
We DO NOT PROVIDE BACKGROUND CHECK on any of the members. Members need to do run their own search to check a background of a member they are interested in.

Below are 2 links to articles that offer practical tips about safeguarding yourself while online dating:



What are your thoughts about Christian online dating? Share your thoughts here or post it on Marrying Over 40 Facebook's page

Wise Quote For Singles Over 35-Your Journey


Don't expect everyone to understand your journey especially if they've never walked your path!